Evening sabotage

Self gas-lighting and related matters

I’ve been full time mama all week, no breaks, poor sleep. my son’s father, my ex partner was out of town for ten days prior, I got one day and a half to myself upon his return, and then he was gone again. I was happy to welcome him back, mostly because papa is quite popular around here, our boy was most excited to see him and, I was looking forward to hours alone at the gym and at the river. But the moment he stepped foot in the house something in me shifted, I went from relieved to angry. He seemed light and happy, stoked on life because he is moving his creative projects forward while I remain tethered to home, I am the mother, the primary caregiver, I am the anchor of our son’s health and well being, I am the nervous system of the home.