To the single mother, the woman with a heavy heart. You bare the scars of abandonment, you carry the guilt of a broken home and yet you find the courage to nurture the future with love. Perhaps you knew since the beginning it was never meant to be or, maybe at some point you had to make a choice to either tolerate living in a house of pain or leave with your dignity and with the weight of the world in your arms.
You may have begun to track the patterns of dysfunction back to the days of innocence, when the girl looked for a sense of belonging and was met with indifference. You did not deserve mistreatment, their blindness was never your fault. So how does the victimized child become the sovereign woman?
As she awakens to the stories that repeat themselves, she leans in, becomes curious, takes up space, chooses herself and takes full responsibility for her situation. In order to rewrite the story, you must first sit with the sobering facts. You’ll need to own the decision you once made to bond with someone who was also deeply wounded. The partner is a mirror, a teacher and the lesson. The trigger is a key that opens the door to abandoned places within you. People’s lack of reverence and awareness is not your fault. You are however responsible for how you respond to their disrespect, so use your anger to light a candle to the altar of your life. Spark up the discipline to use difficulties as fuel for your creativity, remember your life is in your hands so be gentle because the hardship of mothering while mending a broken heart is incomprehensible.
Gather your tools, learn how to move and express your emotional body so your heart may remain soft. The fire you feel in the center of your being is not there to consume you, it’s there to save you from becoming complacent. Anger is the emotion of self respect, it lets you know when you’ve outgrown an environment. so listen to its message, set the boundary, walk away from all that insults your soul. Let people come up with their own conclusions, you don’t owe anyone explanations. Reclaim your attention and focus on your mental, physical and spiritual health. People will always talk, let them. People will judge, let them. The ones meant for you will remain.
The pain you feel in your chest is there to help you surrender. Grief is the medicine that keeps you sane, it is a testament that you have loved deeply. So let the tears wash away any remnants of self doubt. Healing is simply a return to who you truly are. Give yourself permission to be the kind and loving soul that you are. Let your peace become immutable to the chaos of the world. Forgive yourself for hardening, for becoming a shadow of yourself, how else could you have survived? Make an offering, burn sweet resins and make prayers of gratitude for returning to the seat of your heart.
In time, you may even thank those who could not see you, who made promises they could not keep, who said they wanted love but could not handle. They are the greatest teachers for encourage the practice of choosing yourself and raising the bar.
Keep dancing, you are beautiful. Remember it is always darkest before dawn.
Teary eyed and tender-hearted. Thank you for these words of kinship, recognition and encouragement 💞
“Healing is simply a return to who you truly are.” I love this. Like a child. Free to be sincere, not perfect.